AN ODE TO TALAYALAM

AN ODE TO TALAYALAM

TALAYALAM

The language spoken by the Tamil Iyers settled in Kerala, is something which is a mix of Tamil and Malayalam, we can call it Talayalam as many people call it.

Identity Crisis

Am I a Talayalee? ….almost so….because while I was growing up and even now. I don’t fall in either category i.e. Tamil or Malayalam speaking. That definitely qualifies me to be in this genre.

Born to a mother from a Talayalam lineage (my maternal grandfather hails from Tirunelveli and my maternal grandmother from Vadakkan Paravoor (North Paravoor). My grandma knew only to read and write Malayalam and she definitely didn’t know much Tamil, and as the mother’s influence at home is very strong on her kids, all the 3 daughter’s speak Talayalam, cook Keralaiyer style and 2 out of the 3 are married to Keralaiyers,(Tiruchur and Trivandrum respectively).
My mother got married to my father who hails from Coimbatore and has more of a Tamilnadu influence. But both of them are brought up in Mumbai and I grew up hearing different words for the same thing.

When Appa used to go to the market Amma will ask him to buy Matthan (Orange Pumpkin) and Elavan (Ash gourd) and when he comes back he will say Pushnikkaiyum Parangyakaiyum vaindhu vandurken.

In Tamilnadu  Ash Gourd is Pushnikkai and Orange Pumpkin is Parangyakai.

Amma used to get quite irritated. Then Appa used to call Amma “Ara Palakkad”(means half-Palakkad). We used to be quite entertained by the Great Tamil-Talayalam squabbles and grew up to learn nothing perfectly.

It was always a royal confusion at home growing up and learning a language. I don’t think what we talk could be classified as Tamil in any sense of the word, hence the last time I started a thread of Bombay Palakkad tamil Iyers, in our Palakkad Iyers forum. I called it an entirely different genre and I named this genre BBC- PTI  (Bombay born confused Palakkad Tamil Iyers).

(Sorry folks I still can’t get myself to say Mumbai.)

BBC-PTI ke baarein mein (About BBC-PTI’s)

I am a Bombay born confused Palakkad Tamil Iyer, but I can still call myself as Tamil speaking, Malayalam was a bit far off from what we spoke at home. It was already challenging to speak our mother tongue, as vallam (water) transformed into tanni(water) at my home and when grandma came she used to ask “ konjam thanuttha jalam venum enakku”(I want some cold water?) and I used to tell my mother, “ Fridge lenthu konjam cold vallam venam ammavukku?”

Now what was that…..That is Talayalam mixed with English and sometimes there was a mix of other languages as well Hindi and English with the Talayalam.

Let’s see some Tamil and Talayalam words (courtesy- our Palakkad Iyer Members which includes me)

General
Ende Guruvayorappa – O my Lord Guruvayoorappan (Talayalam)

Eeshwaro Rakhshathi – Lord save us.

Allah – No in Talayalam

Illay (Tamil)
(Appa teases my mother, "Allah Allah Misbillah" for using the word Allah)

We use a lot of “O” in reply to questions

Neku – for me in Talayalam

Ennakku in Tamil

Noku – for you in Talayalam

Onnakku in Tamil

Evolo – Tamil how much

Ethara – Talayalam

Enna pannare- Tamil
Ennavakkum Pannaraai-Talayalam

Manasilaacha  - Talayam (did u understand)- this word is nearer to Malayalam

Purinjacha -Tamil

Verummane –Talayalam (Simply)

Chumma – Tamil

Kaalambra – Talayalam (Morning)

Kaarthala – Tamil

Uchaikki – Talayalam (Afternoon)

Madhyaanam – Tamil

Saptacha-Tamil
Aaharam kazhichacha--talayalam

Evlo neram aachu -Tamil
Ethara neram aachu –Talayalam

Ethra prashiyam – how many times -Talayalam

Evolo vaati – how many times – Tamil

Velai – Work in Tamil

Joli – Talayalam

Dhirudhi – Talayalam (Rush)

Nagaru/ Navuru – Moove out of my way in Tamil

And in Talayalam Neengiko

We call our little girls Kunju ponnu and little boys Kuttan

Kutty – small in tamil and  Kunju – Talayalam

Naai – Dog in Tamil And Patti in Talayalam

Tamilians say Veetu ku vaango

We say, Aathuku .vaangol

Talayalam -"cheruppa azhichutu vaa"  In Tamil"seruppa kazhatyutu vaa"(Remove your slippers and come)

Tamil - Kizha poithu valayadyutu verthukotindhu vandirkan (he went down, played and has come back sweating)

Talayalam - Kizha poithu kalichuthu vesharthukothindhu vandirkan

Saadikyalai – Talayalam (couldn’t do)

Mudiyalai - Tamil

Madiyan – Talayalam (Lazy)

Somberi - in Tamil

Medukkan (boy)/ medukkathi(girl) – clever boy or girl in Talayalam

Buddhishaali in Tamil

Varthamanam- Talayalam (news)

Samaajaaram - Tamil

Molla – Talayalam (slowly)

Medhuva – Tamil

Cheekaram – Talayalam (quickly)

Vegam – Tamil

Ormai – Talayalam (Do u remember)

Nyaboham - Tamil

Ammanji – Mama’s son

Ammanga – Mama’s daughter

Attan – Attai’s son

Attangaar – Attai’s daughter

Konthai – Talayalam –  (baby)

Kozhandai - Tamil

Therakku – Talayalam (crowd)

Kootam -Tamil

Pani – Talayalam (Fever)

Joram – Tamil

Mookuchali in Talayalam (cold)

Jaladosham in Tamil

Vayaru seriya illai – Tamil (Stomach is not good)

Vayaru kedu vandirku – Talayalam

Kushumbu – Talayalam (mischief)

Kurumbu – Tamil

Budhimuttu – Talayalam (Trouble)

Kashtam - Tamil

Ubadhravikkarathu – Talayalam (to trouble)

Kashtapaditharthu - Tamil

Torthu / Torthumundu– Talayalam (Towel)

Tundu – Tamil

Virutthikedu - Talayalam (untidy)

Asingyam - Tamil

Praandhu – Talayalam (Mad)

Paithiyam- Tamil

Vashal la – Talayalam (Outside)

Veli la – Tamil

Chamachacha - Talayalam

samayal aacha - Tamil

FOOD

Adukkulai is kitchen in Talayalam and in Tamil they say Aduppu arai

Vellicha Ennai – Talayalam (Coconut Oil)

Tenga Ennai

Appam in Talayalam

Paniyaaram in Tamil

Appakaarai in Talayalam

Kuzhi Paniyaaram in Tamil

Pansaarai / Panjaarai– Talayalam (Sugar)

Chakkarai – Tamil

Chakara Pongal in Talayalam

Sakkarai Pongal

Karandi in Tamil for a ladle is Aapai in Talayalam.

Kanaapai (Spoon with holes)

Cheena Chatty – Talayalam(wok)

Vaanali / Iluppu chutty in Tamil

Chattuvam for the rice spoon

Kashnam –Talayalam (Pieces )

Tundu - Tamil

Mundhu – Talayalam (Sarong for men-Dhoti)

Veshti – Tamil

In tamil Kootu (mix vegetables in coconut and lentil gravy) Becomes molaghutal in talayalam.

Curry / Poriyal becomes Mezhukkuvarati if just sautéed, if coconut is added it becomes Thovaran and we call everything podutuval at home. It was easier for us. Some call it upperi too. But for us Upperi was always Banana chips.

Also thengapodi became sambaarapodi and the thuvayals became Chammanthi and then there are typical PI dishes like molagushayam and idi chakka thuvaran.


Morkozhambu(Tamil) becomes Morkootan(Talayalam) 


and then there are dishes like Olan, Kaalan, Pulinkari, Puli-Inji which also form an integral part of the PI wedding lunch along with Nendram Upperi, Sarkaritta Upperi(the sweet banana chips) and a Banana which usually don't form a part of Tamil iyer wedding menu.

I always say doshai. Never was it dosa or dosai or as they say in Singapore Thosai.

Idly was always Idaly.

Harmless Abuses

We do use a lot of Mannangatti…..the Malayalees say Mannangatta…(a form of abuse…meaningless as far as I know)

My uncle used to get angry and say, “Cheppe la oru adi kittum” (you will get one beating on your butt)

Ennathu idu kaatumbraandi maadri nadakkarai (walking like a savage)

My mother always threatened me by saying,“choota kaachi ezhuten na paaru” (I will burn you with the iron rod)

Chooral aala vechchu kachuven (Cane you)

Moonjiyem Morakattai yem paaru (see the face)

Atchipitchu (Idiot)

Muttal (Fool)

Abhishtu (Stupid)

But there are certain words which mean entirely different in tamil and Malayalam This is seriously funny.
Valakku Kathanam – Talayalam ( I have to light the lamp )

Valakku Ethanam – Tamil

Kathardhu in tamil means shouting

Thalla lai enakku (Iam not feeling well) in Talayalam

Enakku odambu mudiyalai in Tamil

Actually Thallarthu means pushing someone in Tamil

Thooral - Drizzling in tamil and Vayathaala porathu in Malayalam
I read somewhere in blogosphere that when the movie 'Thooral ninnu pochu' came to kerala they had to change it to Saaral ninnu pochu and release it

Kazhichacha- have u eaten? in Talayalam is saptacha in tamil, but kazhichacha actually means subtracting

Veedu in Tamil(home) is Aathu in Talayalam but

Aathu in talayalam actually means river in Tamil

I have never understood the Tamil news read on Singapore local channel Vasantham Central or on / Sun TV / Vijay TV / Jaya TV nor have I understood the Asianet news. It all sounds like a foreign language to me.

Then there are words like thair oravathardhu(setting the yogurt from milk), moru Kadayardhu(making buttermilk), chaana churnai(rag to wipe the floor), modai (kitchen platform), sambadam(vessel), eriyardhu/ kaaram aa irukku- I don’t know which one is Talayalam and which one is Tamil…

I like my chaya (tea) as in Malayalam and Talayalam but we call it Chai (Mumbai isshtyle) and don’t like Kapi (Coffee) at all like the Tamilians

So does that qualify me to be a Talayalee……?

I love dhoklas, samosas and pav bhaji. Vada pao is my absolute favorite and I speak fluent Marathi and extremely fluent Hindi and my hindi peeks into my Talayalam as well…. Ezhadhardhu khatam(finished in hindi) panniyaachu? I have finished writing.

so does that qualify me to be a BBC-PTI ?

Confused and not accepted but what the heck I get the best of all worlds don’t I?

POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING …….LOL!!!!!!

MULLANGI CHUTNEY (CHUTNEY MADE WITH RADDISH)

Mullangi Chutney(Chutney made with Raddish)

Ingredients
1 1/2 cups of grated white radish
5-6 tbsp scraped fresh coconut
5-6 garlic flakes, crushed (optional)
3 green chillies
1 small piece ginger
1 tsp tamarind juice
1 tsp Chana ka daali (Pottu Kadalai)
3-4 peppercorns
1 sprig curry leaves
1 tbsp cooking oil
1/2 tsp mustard seeds
Salt to taste
Method
Blend together the Coconut, tamarind, peppercorns, Chana ka daali, green chillies and the ginger. When it's almost smooth in texture, add the garlic, salt to taste and the grated radish. Run the blender for about 3-4 secs. The radish and garlic should be about a quarter mashed up. Remove from the blender and season with mustard seeds and curry leaves.

CHUTNEY SPREAD

Chutney spread

Ingredients:
1/2 cup grated coconut
4 red chillies or 1 tsp. red chilli powder
1 tbsp Tamarind paste
2 flakes garlic (optional)
1 tbsp. roasted groundnuts
Salt to taste
Method
Grind all ingredients into a smooth paste without adding much water. The chutney consistency should be firm.

KRISHNA IS EVERYWHERE

KRISHNA IS EVERYWHERE

Sage Narada had a desire to know how Krishna was able to keep his thousands of wives happy and contented and attend to all of them everyday. So one day, he came to Dwaraka and entered the palace of Rukmini where he saw Krishna being fanned and served by her. He was greeted by the Lord and given an honorable seat. After sometime, he took leave and entered the hosue of Satyabhama and saw there Krishna playing a game of dice with her, with Uddhava sitting by his side. On seeing Narada, Krishna got up and welcomed him as if he was meeting him for the first time that day. Narada then left that house and entered another where he saw Krishna playing with his babies. He entered another

house and saw in each of them Krishna engaged in various activities, such as preparing to go for his bath, performing his morning worship, teaching the children, and so on. Narada then entered the durbar hall and saw Krishna engaged in discussions with the

minister’s. Wherever he went, he saw Krishna in his innumerable forms, somewhere spending his time in the midst of courtiers, somewhere hunting and so on. Narada was thrilled at this experience of the One Lord manifesting at all places simultaneously in different forms. Wherever he looked he saw only Krishna. He was overcome with wonderment and praised Him with hymns. Krishna then spoke to him thus "O great sage! You know My Tatwa. I sustain righteousness in this world. In order that the world may not swerve from the righteous path, I have assumed the role of a great householder

now. Why should you get deluded by this Maya of Mine?" Narada prostrated to the Lord and went to the higher worlds singing the glory of Krishna.

BODY

BODY

-If you starve, you lose weight! What is the secret? To be told eat less and exercise, is common sense if you want to lose weight. In fact, I find that when a person is on diet, you think of food much more than ever. The important thing is to know your body, identify your wrong eating habits and correct them. Be aware of what you are ingesting and calculate its repercussions.

-The best way is to start the day with a fruit. I do believe if you eat boiled egg in the morning, you don’t feel too hungry even at lunch. Don’t skip carbohydrates at lunch, or you will never make it through till evening. If faced with an irresistible dessert, have one bite and satiate yourself, and resist the second bite. To lose weight, skip carbohydrates after 7 pm.

-Eat less, occupy your mind with something constructive and maintain an exercise routine.

-Exercise is important for a body tone on the outside, and, to increase metabolism on the inside. Also exercise clears the head and is therapeutic.

-Just starving never does good. It takes away the glow from the face and makes one irritable and low. The idea is to maintain a certain lifestyle, with good food habits, instead of crash diets. It is the only way to maintain yourself and not have your weight fluctuating.

-Once you loose the excessive kilos on your body your skin tends to get flabby.Exercise is the only method to tighten the skin, which has become loose after loosing weight. Oil massage can also help. Body toning and firming exercises will be fine. A Gym instructor will be able to guide more on the pattern of exercises routine that you must follow.

- Yoga helps you to have a beautiful body.

- Having an oil bath (Applying oil to your entire body) once in a week keeps your skin moisturized and you can avoid flaking and itchy skin.

VEGETABLES ARE ANTI-CANCEROUS

VEGETABLES ARE ANTI-CANCEROUS

BROCCOLI
How it combats cancer: Research has revealed that a chemical component called indole-3-carbinol can combat breast cancer by converting a cancer-promoting estrogen into a more protective riety. The phytochemical sulforaphane raises the levels of certain cancer-fighting enzymes that defend the body from cigarette smoke, fumes, pesticides & other known carcinogens.

Diet tips: Broccoli leaves actually contain more beta-carotene (i.e. pre-Vitamin A) than the florets - use leaves in purees, soups, stir-fries. To preserve broccoli’s valuable nutrients, steam or microwave, being careful not to overcook. Avoid garnishing broccoli with fatty cheeses and creams instead,squeeze on some lemon juice or sprinkle with toasted bread crumbs.

PAPAYA
How it combats cancer: Its plentiful store of vitamin C works as an antioxidant and may also reduce absorption of cancer-causing nitrosamines from the soil or processed foods. Papaya contains folacin (also known as folic acid), which has been shown to minimize cervical ysplasia and certain cancers.

Diet tips: Choose papayas that are at least half yellow in the store - fully green ones were probably picked too soon and won’t ripen properly. You can serve papaya in fruit salad, add it to a garlic-and-spinach pasta mixture, or just eat it on its own, letting the juice dribble down your arm.

GARLIC
How it combats cancer: Garlic’s immune-enhancing allium compounds block carcinogens from entering cells and slow tumor development. Diallyl sulfide, a component of garlic oil, has also been shown to render carcinogens in the liver inactive. Studies have linked garlic - as well as onions, leeks, and chives - to lower risk of stomach and colon cancer.

Diet tips: Add raw garlic to salads, use it fresh in marinades and sauces;
rub freshly cut garlic around the insides of salad bowls and over chicken
and fish fillets. Avoid dried or powdered garlic, which is less concentrated - and less effective

KALE
How it combats cancer: Research has shown that indoles, nitrogen compounds found in kale and other leafy greens, may help stop the conversion of certain lesions to cancerous cells in estrogen-sensitive tissues. In addition, isothiocyanates, phytochemicals found in kale, are thought to suppress tumor growth and block cancer-causing substances from reaching their targets.

Diet tips: A cruciferous vegetable, kale requires quick cooking - blanching or steaming - to preserve its nutrients. When you’re done, save the nutrient-rich cooking liquid for soups or sauces. You can also use whole large leaves to wrap fillings or to layer in lasagna.

SWEET POTATO
How it combats cancer: This nutrient-dense food contains many anticancer properties. It’s loaded with beta-carotene, which may protect DNA in the cell nucleus from cancer-causing chemicals outside the nuclear membrane.

Diet tips: Go for freshness when picking potatoes - canned arieties contain less beta-carotene and vitamins C and B. Naturally sweet and creamy, mashed sweet potatoes can be enhanced with a little apple juice. Or whip the cooked tubers with orange zest or orange juice and season with cinnamon,nutmeg, and ginger.

GRAPEFRUIT
How it combats cancer: Grapefruits, like oranges and other citrus fruits,contain monoterpenes, believed to help prevent cancer by sweeping carcinogens out of the body. Some studies show that grapefruit can inhibit the proliferation of breast-cancer cells in vitro. It also contains vitamin C, beta-carotene, and folic acid.

Diet tips: Grapefruit can be sweetened with brown sugar or a drizzle of maple syrup or honey; vanilla extract, fresh mint, and almonds also accent the fruit’s flavor. Grapefruit juice will give you the antioxidants and phytochemicals that fight cancer, but it’s missing the fiber that fresh,whole grapefruit offers.

AVOCADO
How it combats cancer: Avocados are rich in glutathione, a powerful antioxidant that attacks free radicals in the body by blocking intestinal absorption of certain fats. Ounce for ounce, avocados also supply 60 percent more potassium than bananas and are a strong source of beta-carotene.

Diet tips: Store avocados at room temperature until they soften. If you don’t eat the fruit immediately after cutting, sprinkle on some lemon or lime juice to keep it from darkening. Add chunks or slices to salads and sandwiches or spread mashed avocado on bread.

SEAWEED
How they combat cancer: Seaweed and other sea vegetables contain beta-carotene, protein, vitamin B12, fiber, and chlorophyll, as well as chlorophylones - important fatty acids that may help in the fight against breast cancer. Also, many sea vegetables have high concentrations of the minerals potassium, calcium, magnesium, iron, and iodine.

Diet tips: Sea vegetables come fresh, dried, or powdered. Both the Japanese & the Irish regularly use them as flavorings for broths & soups,stir-fried over rice, or as a wrap for fish and other seafood. Varieties such as dulce, wakame, kombu, and hijiki even appear in pancakes,salads,puddings, and sandwiches.

TOFU
How it combats cancer: Soy contains several types of phytoestrogens -weak, nonsteroidal estrogens that could help prevent both breast and prostate cancer by blocking and suppressing cancerous changes. Genistein,one type of phytoestrogen, also lowers breast-cancer risk by inhibiting the growth of epithelial cells & new blood vessels that tumors require to flourish.

Diet tips: Tofu is made by coagulating the protein in soybeans - much the way cheese is produced. While bland on its own, tofu absorbs other flavors when cooked, making it perfect for stir-fries, dips, spreads,shakes, even cheesecake. It’s also a good high-protein substitute for meat, whole milk & mayonnaise.

Please note that ALL cruciferous vegetables (like cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, kale, Brussel sprouts) CANNOT be taken raw as they contain oxalates which, is excessive, and can lead to gall stones.
To get maximum benefit from these vegetables, please do not overcook them. Just stir fry and have it crispy and crunchy.

CAUSES OF CANCER
Lets take Singapore for example….The number ONE killer in Singapore is cancer (followed by Heart Disease & Stroke). Not all cancers are the same. 1/3 is curable. 1/3 is preventable.

2 factors of cancer that cannot be controlled are AGE & FAMILY HISTORY.

Causes of cancer:-
1. Smoking is very often the main cause of cancer. It kills us silently and drains money from us quietly. There're 4,000 harmful chemicals (though in diluted form) in one stick of cigarette. Taking one puff is 600 times worst than inhaling the exhaust fumes from vehicles.

2. Some food that cause cancer are:
2.1 Barbecued Food
2.2 Deep Fried Food
2.3 Overheating Meat
2.4 Food that is high in fat causes our bile to secrete acid that contains a chemical which is a promoter of cancer cells.
2.5 Food that contains preservatives, too much salt or nitrates (e.g. Canned food, Salted egg & veggies, sausages, etc.)
2.6 Overnight Rice (where Aflatoxin is accumulated)
2.7 Food that is low in fibre: Our body needs 25 gm of both soluble & insoluble fibre daily. We must drink at least 1.5 litres of plain water a day.
2.8 Contaminated Food (e.g. moulded bread causes our body to secrete toxins that may eventually lead to liver cancer in the long run. Never eat bread that is kept in room temperature for more than 2 days especially in a humid weather like Singapore's.

3. Types of fat and which is the best?
3.1 Highly Recommended for Health:-
i. Olive Oil - The best of all oils. It does not absorb in our body.
ii. Fish Oil - Omega 3 (contained in NI's Circulytes) haspoly-unsaturated fat. It's good for our brain cells.
iii. Peanut Oil - It contains Vitamin E. A small dosage is recommended only.

3.2 Not Recommended for Health
i Vegetable Fat - Palm oil is worst than coconut oil. It is high in cholesterol and highly unsaturated.

ii Coconut Oil - It has saturated fat.

4. Specific Food & Beverages
4.1 Egg when eaten too much can cause High Colon Cancer. Risk Ovary Cancer, Prostate Cancer.
4.2 Cabbage is highly recommended for health reason.
4.3 Tomato is best eaten raw with a bit of olive oil for better absorption. Other alternative is to take tomato sauce.
4.4 Coffee is good because it contains 2 anti-oxidants. Inhaling the coffee aroma for half each day is equivalent to eating two oranges a day. However, the residue of over-burned coffee is extremely bad for health. It can cause cancer.
4.5 Tea, as long as it is in its original tea leaves and not processed into BOH or Lipton packets, it is good for health. Tea contains 30 anti-oxidants. Recommended dosage is 4 cups a day.

Exercise and be fit
Have a balanced lifestyle. Exercise regularly.
F : Frequency: 3 to 5 times a week.
I : Intensity: Exercise till we sweat and breath deeply.
T : Types of exercises: Find one that suits our age, lifestyle, etc.

Have regular check-up
Once we reach the age of 45 & above, it is recommended that we go for regular comprehensive health examination. Early detection may save lives.

GINSENG AND GINKGO BILOBA TO BOOST BRAIN POWER

GINSENG AND GINKGO BILOBA TO BOOST BRAIN POWER
A combination of two ancient herbal remedies have been used for thousands of years in China to dramatically boost your brain power.
A small dose of ginseng can improve your memory.
(Photo of Ginseng on your right)

Ginkgo biloba (Photo of Ginkgo biloba on your left) has the same effect on your focus and concentration But you can combine the two for an even greater impact --with a combination of 60% ginseng and 40% ginkgo best.
Psychologist Andrew Scholey of the University of Northumbria tested 20 subjects on four separate days. Over the four days each subject received a different dose of the plant extracts, and one placebo.
After just one dose of ginkgo biloba, the volunteers had much faster reaction times in a simple math test requiring focused concentration. But the 60-40% combination gave the most powerful results of all.

GUESTBOOK - Be an ideal guest, dont be a pest.

GUESTBOOK

“BE AN IDEAL GUEST, DON’T BE A PEST”

In most Indian families, house guests are a part and parcel of life. They could range from close relatives to distant cousins, friends, colleagues or even acquaintances. On the other hand, you could be forced by circumstance, to be a house guest at someone’s place. Needless to say, the host-guest relationship is a delicate balance, which has to be maintained. Today very few people are invited and even lesser people are inviting. Social life as far as visiting each other to stay over is almost zero. With the man and woman both going to work, they don’t have time for themselves, so how will they have time to entertain others. Inflation, is another reason that people have become less hospitable. The saying, “Atithi Devo Bhava” (means guest is equal to God, or God comes in the form of a guest) doesn’t hold good any longer.

Today’s woman walks a tight-rope balancing multiple roles in a 24 hour time frame. In this over-burdened, overstrained scenario, entertaining unwelcome house guests may disturb the fine balance between work, family and social pressures.

I would love to call this article “A guestbook”, If everyone follows this guestbook, life would be simpler and our social life would be good.

A FEW POINTERS TO AVOID THE ‘UNWELCOME’CATEGORY

• Remember you are in someone else’s private domain.
• Begin by finding out the most convenient time to visit.
• Take a gift for the host’s children – a box of chocolates, ice-cream or fruits is a nice gesture.
• Once invited, don’t expect to be waited upon
• Try and be helpful as much as possible- tidy up your bedroom, help the hostess in the kitchen, answer the phone or door-bell.
• Identify the established norms of your host’s household. Then try and fit yourself into the general household routine.
• If u are held up somewhere or are deciding to have a meal outside, be sure to call and inform your host.
• If accompanied by children, make sure they behave well. Teach them to put up with small inconveniences, to tidy up their room and run errands whenever needed.
• Never over-step basic limits, especially with servants. Behave kindly towards them. Do not order them around. Do not forget to tip them when u leave, as they’ve to handle extra work-washing utensils, clothes, etc.
• Offer to buy groceries, fetch the milk, drop the children to the school bus-stand, walk the dog and so on.
• Be careful while handling the daily newspaper. Don’t crumple it or change the order of the papers. Don’t grab it before your host could read it. They may be habituated to reading it first thing in the morning while sipping tea and may not appreciate their routine being disturbed by you.

SMALL GESTURES MATTER

Some hints to impress your hosts :

• Show kindness to their pets.
• Don’t help yourself to food from the fridge or drinks from the bar without permission.
• Don’t insist on non-veg food when the hosts are vegetarians.
• Make your own tea if the hosts are late-risers.
• Take the host and his family out for dinner.
• Bring flowers for the hostess.

DON’T BE A PEST

Over-staying one’s welcome is just not done. It has been rightly said,

“THE FIRST DAY, A GUEST; THE SECOND, A BURDEN;THE THIRD, A

PEST.”

• Always inform prior to coming about your plan, how many people are coming? how many days you are planning to stay? and ask them if it is convenient for them if you have to stay for a longer time.
• A week is the maximum one should stay as a house guest (it helps to keep good relations, don’t u agree)
• If you are staying for a longer time you need to contribute towards the expenditures of the house.
• If u are a house guest for a longer time ensure that u help the hostess in the household chores; especially if u are going to stay as a houseguest in a foreign country where there is little or no help available in the form of servants, help the hostess with washing vessels, cleaning the house, cleaning the bathrooms and toilets used by you.
• Always flush the toilets after use and ensure that your children have done the same too. Please enquire with your hostess how she disposes of sanitary napkins /used diapers and do so accordingly.
• Never ever put your laundry to the hostess or host for washing. It is very bad manners to put your undergarments for washing. It puts u in the strictly unwelcome category and gives a very bad impression about u and your upbringing.
• Don’t expect to be served hand and foot by your host/hostess. Instead of your hostess coming up to you and giving you your teacup, just go to the kitchen and take it from her. Incase she brings it up to you, “Tell her why did you take the effort, you could have called me, I would just come and take it from you”.
• If they don’t have the practice of eating breakfast or an evening snack, don’t trouble them to make a breakfast for you. Don’t lecture them on the benefits of eating a good breakfast. You can always go outside and have a decent breakfast in any restaurant or alternatively buy bread/biscuits etc from a shop for your morning breakfast. Either ways offer your host as well. Incase your host has been kind enough to rustle up some thing for you, don’t be fussy and if your kids are fussy, promise to take them out for whatever they want to eat. Don’t encourage the tantrums thrown by your kids and trouble your hostess.
• Don’t ask for cups for oil for taking hair and body massages in your host’s house.
• If you are going to stay in someone’s house with kids, be extremely careful and don’t let the kids touch anything expensive. Keep a watchful eye on them. Offer to buy extra milk etc. for the babies. Don’t encourage kids to argue with the host/hostess. Incase your kids are fighting with the hosts kids, reprimand your kids. If anything is broken accidentally due to your kid’s mistake, either buy a new one to replace the broken one or atleast offer to buy a new one by apologizing for the mistake.
• Don’t expect your host to keep u company at all times. Learn to amuse yourself – read, watch TV or go for a walk, catch up on your sight-seeing or shopping.
• Respect your host’s privacy and don’t ask for his car. Apart from petrol being expensive, many people don’t like lending their cars to other drivers. Hire a cab or auto-rickshaw, or use the public transport system.
• Be flexible about your food habits. Do not expect your host to feed you your favorite dish every second day.
• If you are invited for dinner, don’t open vessels and peep into what’s been cooked for dinner. If you have a problem and are allergic to certain foods inform the host at the time you have agreed to go to their place for dinner.
• While eating see if there is enough left for the host/hostess to eat. Don’t hog as if you haven’t eaten in years and the hostess has to cook again for themselves.
• Incase u are late don’t expect your host and hostess to wait for u for dinner, ask them to go ahead and say that u will manage on your own when u are back and they must not get up or trouble themselves to serve u your dinner. Ensure that u eat the dinner cooked and kept for u on the table, it is bad manners to waste food, and also clean up after u finish, don’t keep the utensils for your hostess to wash in the morning, and ensure that leftover food is neatly put in small vessels and kept in the fridge.
• Don’t wake your host up, to make requests for a hot/cold cup of milk or cocoa at night. Milk is expensive and they may need milk in the morning to make a cup of tea or a bottle of milk for the baby. They have to stock up on the leftover milk until the milkman arrives the next day morning.
• Make your own bed. Don’t leave your room in a mess.
• Never go to judge something or interfere in their personal lives or support an argument, even if they involve u in it.
• Never make comments on their families or friends.
• Incase there is an occasion at home like the birthday party or wedding anniversary of either of them and even if they invite u, humbly apologize for not going and let them celebrate it in private. Get them a gift for the occasion.
• Don’t open their refrigerator/kitchen cabinets and curiously look in. Don’t make comments on its contents. That’s bad manners again.
• Never use their PC, fax machines or telephones without prior permission.
• Incase u are a long time house guest and u need to use the PC, don’t ever open personal documents, don’t play games through the internet, as the host may have to bear the expense of the internet, use the host’s PC for a necessity not for a luxury.
• Don’t make STD/ISD calls and if u need to make a call, pay for it.
• Never demand to see the channel of your choice on TV, incase u need to see a particular program make a request.
• Never criticize your host about the décor, food, the kid’s behavior, even the erratic power or water supply.
• “Open Your Mouth Only To Appreciate Something.”
• Remember u are a guest whether u are living with your hosts for a short time or a longer time, u are not going to be there for good, so make adjustments, then, your stay will be pleasant & peaceful.
• When u go back to your own home u can always live like a “King”.
• Make yourself welcome and make your hosts feel good about you.

They must not wait to drive you out and then think that it was, “Good riddance to Bad Rubbish”

A little tact will get u invited back

WHEN YOU ARE SAYING BYE

• Try to be a pleasant person, so that your host and hostess feel like inviting you again to their house.
• While leaving, tell them that you had a lovely stay and invite them over to your house as well.
• Maybe buy them a small gift as a token to appreciate their hospitability.
• Make your stay with them a memorable one for both u and them.

Following these rules ensures that our social life will still remain good, following the guestbook will definitely make your hosts say “come again”.

SALT THE CURE OF PAIN

SALT THE CURE OF PAIN
I believe that most of your moms always tell you to drink a glass of salt water/rinse your mouth with salt water if you have a sore throat because salt can reduce inflammation.

This method has actually been proven (medically) to be really effective and it really can help to reduce inflammation.

They have also tested on other medical values of salt and found out that:

If you have pain in your joints/spine/body, you can simply try out this method which can help to relieve the pain (especially for old people who have rheumatism). Simply fry the salt let it settle down for a while before applying on affected areas.

If you have a problem of Hair Loss, you can simply prepare a pail of salt water and rinse your scalp/hair with it (it takes about 2 weeks to a month). It will not help in growing of new hair but can prevent hairfall.

After tedious/strenuous exercise, soaking your feet with salt water can help to prevent cramps and pain, and also prevent from skin irritation. Hope it will be of help to you.

KONDA KADALAI SUNDAL

KONDA KADALAI SUNDAL
Konda Kadalai Sundal gets its name because it has a dome on top representing a kondai(a knot). Every chana or kadalai should have distinctive name so this was equated to a hair knot tied by women. It is made during the Navaratri festival. It is also distributed as Prasad in temples.

Ingredients
Konda Kadalai - 250 grams
Mustard seeds - 1 tsp
Udad dal - 1 tsp
Green chillies – 3-4
Red chillies – 1-2 broken into 2 halves
Turmeric -1/4 tsp
Asafetida (Hing) - a small pinch
Freshly grated Coconut – 1-2 tbsps
Cooking oil - 1 tbsp
Salt as per taste.
Curry leaves – a sprig
Coriander leaves for garnish

Method
Soak the Konda Kadalai in water overnight. In the morning rinse out well, add some turmeric powder and a cup of water and pressure cook it for about 3-4 whistles. Don’t throw the water in which the chana has been boiled as it contains a lot of nutrients. Keep the boiled chana aside.
In a Kadhai (wok), Add oil, when it is hot, Add the mustard seeds and when they begin to crackle, Add udad dal and the red chillies, when the udad dal becomes slightly pink, add the green chillies and the curry leaves and fry well, now add in the boiled Konda kadalai and turmeric, asafetida and salt. Mix well. Cover the kadhai with a lid. Don’t add water, The boiled chana already has some water, so let it cook. Once all the water is soaked up Add freshly grated coconut and some coriander leaves and mix well.
Serve hot with Rice and Rasam or enjoy it as it is.